thoughts at night.

it's a while since i have been up doing work past 1am! sometimes when i think back on that particular incident, i feel a bit like cringing. How ridiculous i must have seemed, for someone to laugh without hesitation at an unbelievable and amusing revelation. Unkind too, i might say. i still don't find it that funny, because that person didn't know everything.

loneliness, as you grow older, gets really scary. much like the cockroach you encounter in the kitchen late at night, or the fear of someone creeping round the corner. you wish someone could kill that cockroach for you, but because you are home alone, you gotta do it yourself.

somewhere along the way, i lost everything. either numbness, or very very hardy resilience. this is quite a new emotion to me - the lack of it.