you know what they say about crying over spilt milk? except that this time it isn't spilt milk; it wasn't something i could be regretful about. she just doesnt know how much this grade means to me. im so borderline, everything is at stake.

it isn't even about me, it's about her. was i lousy? i don't think so. i could go all the way to hss, knock on her office and insist she watches both videos and tell me why i deserve my grade. and i'll tell her why i don't. i know i'll win, definitely. i would do that just to win some pride and confidence back, because i am very hurt by what this grade is telling me about myself.

then again, why do i even care? are grades everything? that one letter, since when did it become telling of personality, attitude and ability? i'm sick of this argument, convincing myself again and again that i dont need to expense emotions on this kind of insignificant thing. i don't want my grades to rule my world. yet it's like this annoying rubbish that haunts and taunts me every now and then.

i should be satisfied.