...

ok. i am very tired.

you know, i have had high morale the past few weeks. but right now, i'm tired, frustrated, impatient, annoyed... you name it, im feeling it.

first of all, please remember that a reindeer has two antennae, two eyes, two eyeballs, two ears, one head and one nose. add them up, multiply that by 2, then by 13. got the math done? good. just remember that.

and next, it's week 12. exams in 2 weeks. unfinished projects, inefficiency, meeting in school on a supposedly free day, come home to do work, endless refining of reports.... gees. are they human, seriously? are we humans? is cbe humane? i want to put in effort too. but i get tired. especially stupid people like me who take twice the time to finish something. i hate to think im stupid. i can't seem to convince myself otherwise anymore after 2.5 years in cbe. i seem to be the only one taking this real hard. somewhat like a personal attack, a knife that plunges into my chest (or brain - i get stupider each year) after each test and exam. i feel like everybody's knocking on my head like checking for a spoilt nut, going "Hello, anybody there??"

it's just temporary. life's always a bitch during this period. after exams, i'll be fine. i like to complain, a lot.

and again, it's week 12, still no news about gip. how efficient, gip office. go on, surprise me.

shit, why am i sounding so sarcastic? horrors. life's been tough, really. no, it's actually the self-fulfilling prophecy....

they say trust takes forever to build, and one second to destroy. try as i may to regain some trust, it's gone, and i don't have forever. so you see, life's tough huh.

ive been having this mysterious right-eye-twitching syndrome since 3 weeks back. googled it, and it's called blepharospasm. means my eye's going spastic. caused by various reasons:

• Corneal irritation or injury
• Stress
• Lack of sleep
• Fatigue
• Prolonged staring/eye strain
• Alcohol
• Caffeine
• Neurological disorders
• Possibly Hereditary

and ive been sleeping rather regularly. wasnt that tired when it began. didnt stare the screen for too long, no alcohol, no caffeine. after elimination, i conclude it can only be because of:

Neurological disorders

that's right. i think im dying. my brain's malfunctioning. you know how the chinese say if it's the right eye, it's a good thing? i've been waiting 3 weeks for something good to happen. zilch.

i like playing silly little harmless dare games. they totally entertain me, and friends who want to challenge me make me more entertained, especially when the

y do the dare. little joys of life eh.

what's happening right now is a verbal diarrhoea. i don't care if i spelt that word correctly or not, to hell with that annoying red curvy underline man. my right eye's having uncontrollable muscle seizures, and im dying soon. even the spell check can't leave me alone...

and don't you ever let "wa, you got a lot of time izit" run through your mind. i will slaughter all such thoughts, you included. with a bankai.

yes, im feeling immense hatred, frustration, annoyance... you name it, i'm feeling it. did i say that already? okay, read that again.

i am really not that upset with life, school, muscle spasms and you. fatigue in the mind does funny things to you.

best quotes this week.

"he's irksome. he irks me."

"we can't passively watch ourselves go extinct."

"clear? crystal." *puzzled faces in the lt*

"if only we could just lie on the grass and look at rainbows, eat cupcakes like in a fairytale."

"i can prevent weaponry from entering the lt by putting some policemen at the door and going through that metal sensor. but what about biochemical threat? i can't prevent a biochemical threat in the lt. let's say someone farts and..."

the last one's from hp806. he totally tickles my funny bone, without fail each week. one of the funniest and most inspiring people i've ever met.