new post

i have an explicable urge to blog, yet each time i click 'new post', i find myself go speechless. it's not that i don't have anything to say, but nothing seems worth mentioning. what do i write next?

you don't actually write the truth while putting your thoughts into words, you know that? let's say you like apples, and i tell you to write down why. you said cz it's sweet. but in fact you like it cz you simply like how it tastes, not just because it's sweet. you lied subconsciously as you translated the mental into the literal.

i think i might just have lied saying that. haha!

6 weeks. it's been a long while and it's like my world's been spun round and round, gravitating about the same point. if i plotted stress level, it would be like a step change graph. add unit step change every week. if i plotted emotions, it would be sinusoidal. if i plotted life, it would be really noisy, but oscillates about a steady-state point. it's not easy building a strong constitution after all.

ever so often, i find my mind drifting off to the same point. some things run through my mind so much, i actually start to hear this monologue in my head: "the same old things, AGAIN?!" "yes, AGAIN, aren't you tired of them yet, Tan Yan Jun?" "Sure am..." i need a distraction from my distraction. hahaha. now that's difficult, even more than process control/unit ops/bio!!!

the day will come when the fuse burns out and two loose ends meet. when a knot is tied and frays no longer. ___ world still spins regardless, faster than ever. stop, and bring me along?