one sweet day
hours ago, when i stood in front of her photo with everyone else, i could feel the grim faces all around me. it was a heavy atmosphere. very quiet, and solemn.
it was strange, even disturbing, seeing such a young face framed with yellow flowers. it is an unfamiliar sight to me. it was a face i've seen months ago, in the pagaent photos, posing in a yellow gown and being touted as the best model potential out of all the girls.
then i went round the coffin. i didn't take a good look at her. but i felt my legs go weak. it was really of the shock that i haven't exactly recovered from, and of the reality i was seeing right before me. this girl, who was ever so alive in my memories, was now lying there. lifeless. cold. i will never see her as alive anymore.
it was hard to swallow. i saw that her eyes were closed in an eternal rest, and she was sleeping in tranquility. just a day ago, she had been fit, sporty, pretty and sweet. she had warmth, love, health... she had so much that others don't. most of all she had a life. yet, she took her own, and it was gone in the twinkling of an eye.
like chiann said, we are at the best time of our lives, when possibilities are so immense, yet she chose to let go. there are so many out there who wish to live, and people are throwing out theirs so easily. she would never live to see what kind of life she would lead, what kind of a person she would have become.
her last moments, what was she possibly thinking? what could have triggered it, and gave her the courage to do it? what made her forget all about the ones who love her, the ones whom she would leave behind in this world? to the dead, the world remains the same. to the ones alive, nothing is ever going to be the same. people don't take days, weeks, or months to get over the absence of somebody. it takes years. years and years of rebuilding a life that had been once been impacted. our life isn't really ours, it's everyone's. it isn't about living for yourself, it's about living for others as well. it was an irresponsible act, selfish even.
and i cant imagine the guilt, regret, sorrow. her boyfriend, her family. they are probably thinking they could have saved her, but they didn't. it would feel like murder, almost.
we shared the same birthday. we were brought to the world on the same day, yet she left this world so soon. she could have found more reason to live, if she had the courage to live on. one can do ANYTHING when he's alive, but when he's gone, all is gone.
it is sad and a great pity, to see a once up-and-going girl now gone forever. i hope for those around her to pull through this bravely, to live strong and to stay optimistic.
Rest In Peace, Junru.
it was strange, even disturbing, seeing such a young face framed with yellow flowers. it is an unfamiliar sight to me. it was a face i've seen months ago, in the pagaent photos, posing in a yellow gown and being touted as the best model potential out of all the girls.
then i went round the coffin. i didn't take a good look at her. but i felt my legs go weak. it was really of the shock that i haven't exactly recovered from, and of the reality i was seeing right before me. this girl, who was ever so alive in my memories, was now lying there. lifeless. cold. i will never see her as alive anymore.
it was hard to swallow. i saw that her eyes were closed in an eternal rest, and she was sleeping in tranquility. just a day ago, she had been fit, sporty, pretty and sweet. she had warmth, love, health... she had so much that others don't. most of all she had a life. yet, she took her own, and it was gone in the twinkling of an eye.
like chiann said, we are at the best time of our lives, when possibilities are so immense, yet she chose to let go. there are so many out there who wish to live, and people are throwing out theirs so easily. she would never live to see what kind of life she would lead, what kind of a person she would have become.
her last moments, what was she possibly thinking? what could have triggered it, and gave her the courage to do it? what made her forget all about the ones who love her, the ones whom she would leave behind in this world? to the dead, the world remains the same. to the ones alive, nothing is ever going to be the same. people don't take days, weeks, or months to get over the absence of somebody. it takes years. years and years of rebuilding a life that had been once been impacted. our life isn't really ours, it's everyone's. it isn't about living for yourself, it's about living for others as well. it was an irresponsible act, selfish even.
and i cant imagine the guilt, regret, sorrow. her boyfriend, her family. they are probably thinking they could have saved her, but they didn't. it would feel like murder, almost.
we shared the same birthday. we were brought to the world on the same day, yet she left this world so soon. she could have found more reason to live, if she had the courage to live on. one can do ANYTHING when he's alive, but when he's gone, all is gone.
it is sad and a great pity, to see a once up-and-going girl now gone forever. i hope for those around her to pull through this bravely, to live strong and to stay optimistic.
Rest In Peace, Junru.
posted by yanjun @ 12:46 AM
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