watchthecloudsgoby

i feel like rolling about on soft green grass, looking up at the clear blue sky, basking in the warm (or hot) sunshine and watch the clouds go by.

or sitting by the beach late at night, listening to the gentle crash of the waves against the shore, feeling the seabreeze kiss my cheeks and look at lights from the boats in the distance.

wouldn't that be such a great feeling?

if only i weren't so self-centred. sometimes i think too much about myself, i forget about other people. i've grown so selfish; is that what growing up means? one day if everyone left me, and i were all alone in this big world, i would be so lost and helpless. everyone needs someone, but i want to learn to need no one. i want to be able to do things on my own. to judge, to impose, to survive. there will come a day when everyone around me starts to leave, perhaps this world, one by one. will i be able to withstand what comes next?