the sky keeps crying II

haha felt like blogging. chatted with a friend jz now after a depressing paper. so many thoughts running through my head, i dont feel like sleeping anymore. shit i was supposed to sleep at 2 so that i can wake up at 9 and study. now it's approaching 4, and i want to wake up at 10...raaaah.RAWWRRR.

sometimes i think i shouldn't ask for too much. i should be happy with what i have. friends, family, etc etc. i don't need more, or maybe i do. just that, perhaps i set up my own barrier. i can't get past it myself, and i dont expect other people to get past it too. maybe if i put my guard down, things will be better. but i guess things have reached saturation level, or perhaps, this is not the place for me.

can't find the right people, in general. i might have been able to mix, but i guess i didnt try, and others didnt try either. i guess i dont click that well, or click that easily for that matter. its not easy making friends... not easy at all. i used to think i wasnt too bad in my people relations, now i think im handling them too carefully. too afraid to be at ease. there are also certain social lines people think along, and i suppose i fall out of those lines.

if others can be happy with what they have and what they have is less than what i have, i should be happy. why ask for more?