zutto

over the months, i realise my posts have been getting increasingly depressing. read through my old posts over the past year. initially i guess the posts were ok, then it started to become...i don't have anything nice to blog about anymore. my life is so empty. what do u expect...find joy in brushing my teeth every morning and then spending a whole day without talking to anyone... in the past week, i think i've spent at least 4 nights alone at home. i don't know. is this how it's supposed to be.

i don't know. it's not the end of the world, but staying happy is easier said than done.

i realise everyone needs encouragement once in a while. everyone needs a good friend's company once in a while. everyone needs compliments once in a while. everyone needs to really let go and bend the rules once in a while. everyone needs time for themselves once in a while. everyone needs to have some excitement once in while.

i don't like to be put down all the time. who does?

what do i need now? something's missing.

been reading soompi a lot. it's interesting how there can actually be a love and relationships forum, and there are topics like "5 Types of Girlfriends", "Guys would you call a girl if you like her a lot?","Should girls ask guys out?" etc... if i had a relationship problem, i probably wouldn't advertise it there. and some people are actually damn open there. but i guess it makes people feel comforted because there it feels like LOVE IS IN THE AIR. and then there's a topic "Why are you single?" so, what's this..after making all the singles feel like shit reading all the lovey-dovey stuff the attached and love sick ones have written, you try to make them feel a bit better by starting a thread for them. hurhur. and there's a thread about "shout out your secret crush!" i read it, and it's incredulous i tell you. some people can have up to 4 crushes and they have smth mushy to say to all of them. gosh, seriously, if u have 4 crushes at once, it's...i don't know, your life must be even worse than mine. put in it simple words, you have no life. i don't suppose you really think there are so many guys/girls out there who are meant for you..-.-

oh and there are similarly amazing people who talk about how their boyfriends check up on them and how they are still in love with their ex blah blah blah. those "There-are-a-hundred-guys-waiting-for-me" kind of people. hurhur. i don'tknow what to say. perhaps they're really like a guy magnet, or maybe they're just having illusions.

ok looking at what i typed i guess im a bitter person. lol. no hopes about life or love...hhaha.

and looking at the other sub forums im even more amused by crazy fans. oh and i tell you no im not like them. at all. they think their idols are 100% nice and genuine and perfect. hurhur. yeah right. post up pics of the alleged idol dating another idol, then they are like "nah that's just someone who looks like him!" "come on i've seen that picture elsewhere IT'S PHOTOSHOPPED." "this is stupid. he won't ever date her, he said that before." "GOSH??? HE'S WITH HER?? WTH?!!?!?!! OMG SHE'S SUCH A BITCH STEALING MY MAN!" "hey don't believe the pics. he's already mentioned he doesn't have a girlfriend."

read it often enough and you'll find them amusing. terribly amusing. they don't even have real facts and they are starting arguements over it. and making strange comments about "their hubby". hurhur. seriously, the entertainment business is all a facade. who's real? there isn't any truth in it.

and gosh i really hate all those immature 13-16 year olds posting. ok partly cz im 18 and they're way younger so i feel sore about that. 18...DAMN..