...

doods.
been 4 weeks of sch. zomg 4/5 more weeks to common test. hallelujah.
*prays for myself*
im lagging in my work.
i havent been listening in lectures this week.
ive been falling asleep in class, esp mr wong's lesson.
and i always go to the toilet during his lesson.
i havent understood a single thing about econs notes 8.
nothing abt EM either.
nothing abt carbonyls. and vectors knowledge = 0.
i havent replied to my friend's letter for abt 3 weeks, and im really guilty abt that.
i need to clear up my area to prepare for sis bdae party on sunday.
this is like totally bad.
i grumble too much.
others are prob worse off than me.
but i jz like to think im the most unfortunate person in the whole wide world.
i liketo think i didnt have time for everything.
i like to think im really tired.
i like to complain and be an irritant.

small picture:
im studying myself silly every day,
sitting through lesson after lesson, lecture after lecture.
Gotta study hard so that i can get into university.
do well for all tests and exams.
im always hanging around 3 good friends.
sometimes im so sick of them, i bet they're sick of me too.
i hate some ppl who mug so hard like there's no tomorrow.
i hate everyone who's so far ahead of me.
i hate running. honestly, the fit ones dont understand.
stupid assholes calling me fat.
be nice to everyone.
troubling over every little thing, like it meant the whole world.

big picture:
so what if I get top 10% for all my exams and tests?
i dont even have survival skills, be it in society or life.
im so weak, i cant fend for myself,
make decisions for myself and be determined about getting smth i want.
im sick of my friends, but i know they're one of the most impt ones in my life.
PE, yeah fitness for life, but it's not an overnight thing.
fat. ok fine im fat.
the slim dont understand because they've never been fat before.
its insulting to hear someone calling you fat. even if it was implied indirectly.
it never makes one feel good.
so. if u're slim, dont ever say you're fat. puts me off. TOTALLY. immediately.
of coz its nice to be slim. do u ever think someone fat never thought abt being slim?
i think i shld devote an entry to this.
im trying. not getting much help. no discipline.
stop fretting over the small stuff, they dont make a difference in your life.
get it over and done with.





hate this.